Instead, I'm...

At Ian's. Not happily with Ian himself, mind you. That was the original plan, as I understood it, hence I'm here and not doing any of the above.

Nope. Ian's at his neighbour's on an impromptu visit even though he was the one who wanted to spend the evening with me.

Sweetie, don't take this the wrong way, but... do you not really see anything wrong with this picture???