The Empress Online

Monday, February 13, 2006

PMS again...

Pathetic Melancholy Stage. Pissed-off, Manic and Sardonic. Pre-Mensrual Syndrome. Whatever.

How can you explain this to men? That once a month, five-to-seven days before riding the Red Tide, a perfectly stable, reasonable, wonderful woman may suddenly turn into a pathetic lump of weepiness or, alternatively, a veritable Bitch from Hell? I've tried doing the explaining: equating it with a bad alcohol trip or something... But I really don't know if it's enough for bearers of the 'Y' cromosome to really, really understand that PMS quite literally equals being on bad drugs. Bad drugs you cannot even quit because it's your own brain that's producing them.

I get mean, hypersensitive, needy, weepy, insecure, hostile... All at the same time! My reactions at the gut level are irrational and it's like my Real Me is trapped somewhere inside, watching but not always able to interfere before any damage is made. And by damage I mean hurting or freaking someone out.

And then there's the dwelling on stuff... the utter inability to move on, let by gones be by gones...

Someone once told me about progesterone therapy to control these horrendous cyclical mood-swings... Maybe I should seriously start doing some research... I mean, when it was just me, whatever, I dealt... But all of a sudden, here I am, part of 'couplehood'. And these monthly occurrences are not fair to Ian. Or to me, for that matter.

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