Mean People

I've had my share of brushes with mean people over the years, especially as a little girl who enjoyed reading and had good grades without really putting too huge an effort into it. And yet, as an adult I've been overall pretty lucky/sheltered. Maybe it's because I keep to myself, but know how to fend off meanness if directed at me. Or perhaps it's the almost instinctive way I have to sense mean people around and stay clear of their path. Most likely, I've just been lucky. That hasn't blinded me to the meanness around me, though. And there's a lot. From big-picture/global-consequences actions, to playground bullying, or abuse (passive AND active) of people in the service industry.

I have very little patience for mean people. Almost as little as I have for narrow-minded people (narrow-mindedness about narrow-mindedness... how about that?), although that's a different story.

What made me think of this?

Yesterday I went to the little coffee shop behind my new office building. The place was empty of customers except for a woman -- blond, younguish (30's?) prettish, if a bit washed out, but attractive by a guy's standards, I'm sure. She was standing in front of the counter, browsing the menu. Since I already knew what I wanted, I almost went ahead and ordered -- especially because the blond was just looking diddering and indecisive and I wasn't even sure whether she was

a) standing in line, or
b) if she was in line, whether she had made up her mind on what to order or not.

Just as I looked back questioningly from the clerk to the woman, she quickly said she'd decided. I smiled and stepped aside -- after all, she was there before me.

She ordered a salad with a bunch of specifications, and paid with a credit card. Then she wanted to add a coffee, so the clerk cancelled the transaction and was a bit confused as to where on the receipt it read that the transaction had indeed been stopped. Meanwhile, I was starting to get a bit impatient and two other women had joined the line behind me. One of the other girls in the shop helped the counter clerk and that was that. In the meantime, though, the blond woman continued to be demanding (tone of voice and everything), further stalling the poor clerks:

"Can I have an extra cup of dressing on the side?"

"No, that's not decaf. I said I wanted decaf."

The women behind me laughed and jokingly said: "Of course you had to be the problem, Rebecca." At first Rebecca was so focused on being mean to the clerks that she didn't hear the women who obviously knew her. They repeated their playful tease and she finally turned around and looked at them, an exasperated expression in her face.

"It's not me," she snapped loudly. "It's her." She added, jerking her head in the direction of the clerk, who was now busy getting the 'lady' her coffee. While Rebecca did lower her voice a bit when she said 'it's her', the comment was pointed and obvious.

One of the other cafe girls, realizing all this (and the stalling due to Miss Rebecca), came quickly to me and asked me for my order. Within 2 minutes I'd ordered, received and paid for my salad to go. I thanked the girl with a big smile and skeddadled as fast as I could. Miss Rebecca was spitefully talking to the other two women about the incident as I left.

You know... None of this is any of my business, but I still couldn't help but feel bad for the clerk and more disdainful than angry at the Princess (that was her attitude -- eeww).

What bothers me is that there ARE people like that. On a greater scale, too. And they get away with their meanness every minute of every day. Not that this is a new realization or anything -- I'm not that naive.... The incident just made me think of it, made me more accutely aware of it.

There should be a way to figure out which babies are going to grow up to be mean kids, and then mean people. Then, there should be a law to let them die of exposure -- didn't the Greeks do that to their deformed kids? This would make so much more sense....

Did I mention I violently dislike mean people?