The Amazing Adventures of Clueless and Diva

Brilliant idea for a new comic book! (Or should I be very politically correct and call it 'graphic novel'?)

The title is a bit cliche-y, I know (some would say 'classic'). In fact, how about we go with

The Unfathomable Exploits (escapades? lives?) of Clueless and Diva

instead?

So...

Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, transgendereds and transexuals, puppies and kittens, birdies and mice...

I am proud to present to you the exciting web premier of

The Unfathomable Exploits of Clueless and Diva
~an exciting voyage through the minds and feats of a most unlikely pair

**Disclaimer: Given the limitations of a blog (and the fact that I cannot draw and even if I could, I don't have a scanner), this brilliant comi... graphic novel in-the-making will be introduced in play form. All materials have been copyrighted and are the sole property of the author.**

Cast of Characters:

Diva - Don't let her name fool you. She may crave attention like a Leo, but she's also cuddly and selfless like a Cancer
Miss Pheat - Diva's alter-ego. Diva and Miss Pheat must be played by different actresses, as they are often on stage at the same time. (Naturally, in the comic strip, this won't be a problem.) Clueless - Diva's man
Mr. and Mrs. Pitterpatter - an elderly couple, friends of Clueless's. They're actually not real people, but holographic projections (or larger-than-life banners) on a backdrop behind Clueless when/as indicated in stage directions.

Scene: Dark stage. Sudden spotlight on Miss Pheat.

Miss Pheat: Love me! Love me! Love me! Love me!

A second spotlight shines on Diva.

Diva: I'm right. I just know I am. I've analyzed the matter in every conceivable manner and there's no way around it: I am right!

Miss Pheat: Love me?

Diva: I'm being very rational about this. I like being rational about everything. I am a reasonable person.

Lights up on the other half of the stage. Clueless sits on the edge of a very deep, very plush sofa, holding on to a cup of coffee as if it kept him from falling off. He talks to Mr. and Mrs. Pitterpatter. The spotlights and actors on the dark side of the stage remain on. There is no interaction between him, Diva and Miss Pheat.

Clueless: You mean you were really there? You got to meet those people? Shake their hands?

Diva: He just hasn't seen me in so long...

Clueless: You did? Wow.

Diva: ... one would think he'd be just keen on seeing me. That's all.

Miss Pheat: He doesn't love me enough.

Clueless: Diva? Oh, don't worry about her. She's cool. She won't mind the change of plans.

Diva: Just exactly what am I supposed to say? Ultimately, it's his choice. He didn't blink an eye when he made it.

Clueless: More coffee? Sure, I'd love some.

He gets up, holding out his cup, and walks off stage. Lights down on his side of the stage.

Diva: He never even asked if I was ok with it. All I ask for is a little consideration.

Blackout.

Stay tuned for Scene II