Just what I needed

So... It's been nothing but upsetting news and upsetting everything since the last week of March: Uncle Adan's need for heart surgery, Uncle Mario's stroke, then his death just last week. Then the whole work thing -- insecurity, distraction, feeling like everyone is pissed off at me...

Now, just to cap these 'wonderful' times, last night I found out Ian's not going to my end-of-year dance show in June because he's got some old car show up-island that same weekend. And while I've never begrudged him his car addiction, or his activities, or his time with his buddies, and in the grand scheme of things he has mostly been there for me, I can't help but feel upset and frustrated at this unfortunate overlap.

That dance show is what I've been working towards since September and it's very important for me to have close people in the audience that day. Now, thanks to that stupid car show, either way I lose:

1) Ian doesn't go (which he won't): He'll miss something very important to me and I'll resent him on some level. Plus, it's not like he sees me dance every week... who knows when he'll see me dance?

2) Ian blows off his car thing to go see me dance: he'll resent me.

Either way, I lose.

I just wish I hadn't found out about this at this moment in time. It might seem like a minor thing, but right now it's just another thing.

I crave good news -- ANY good news will do.

What I really-really wish for?

That that stupid car show got moved to either the previous or the following weekend.

Good luck with that, I know.

I hate this.